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18 subtle forms of workplace bullying and intimidation & how to stop them

Have you or someone you know ever felt belittled, continuously criticized, or under pressure at work? You’re not alone.

Research shows that 3 out of 4 employees have witnessed bullying in the workplace, with 80% of bullies being bosses and supervisors. To make things worse, 70% of the time, the bully is the one who remains at the company while the victim leaves.

At the same time, it appears that the rise of remote work positively affects the frequency of bullying and intimidation cases since 43% of remote workers, 17% of hybrid workers, and 21% of on-site ones have reported it.

What is workplace bullying?

Workplace bullying can be defined as an unwanted behavior that aims to harm, intimidate, or coerce an individual or group within a professional setting. This behavior can be verbal, nonverbal, physical, or psychological and can come from supervisors, colleagues, or even clients and customers.

Direct bullying involves threats, harassment, or even physical aggression and may have legal consequences depending on the jurisdiction of each country.

But while overt bullying (such as yelling or threats) is easier to identify and address, subtler forms of intimidation can fly under the radar, creating a toxic work environment that chips away at employees’ confidence and well-being.

Here, I will focus on the subtle forms of workplace bullying and intimidation and suggest ways to stop them.

18 subtle forms of workplace bullying and intimidation

Subtle forms of bullying and intimidation, albeit more challenging to identify, can be equally traumatic as other forms of bullying.

Here are 18 common forms of subtle workplace bullying and intimidation:

1. Toxic gossiping

Malicious rumors and office gossip can spread like wildfire, destroying employees’ reputations and creating a sense of isolation. This can make collaborating with colleagues extremely difficult and damage someone’s professional image within the company.

2. Excluding someone from professional activities

Being deliberately left out of meetings, social events, or other professional activities can make employees feel ostracized and undervalued. This targeted exclusion can be a way to diminish one’s influence and impact within the organization.

3. Passive-aggressive behavior

Sarcastic remarks, dismissive body language, or the silent treatment are all forms of passive-aggressive behavior. These tactics can be incredibly frustrating because they’re often veiled, making it challenging to confront the issue directly.

4. Undermining someone’s work (especially in front of others)

If a manager or colleague undermines someone’s work in front of others or publicly highlights their mistakes, deliberate attempts to diminish their credibility and damage their self-esteem. This can be particularly damaging if you’re new to a role or trying to establish yourself within a team.

5. Giving unrealistic deadlines or excessive workload

Assigning someone unrealistic deadlines, excessive tasks, or projects outside their scope creates undue stress and sets them up for failure. This can be a way to make them feel overwhelmed and incompetent, impacting their overall morale and productivity.

6. Withholding tasks and information from someone

Withholding crucial information or resources needed to complete one’s work effectively can sabotage your progress and hinder your performance. This can leave you frustrated and scrambling to catch up, ultimately reflecting poorly on your abilities.

7. Inappropriate humor without consent

Offensive jokes or discriminatory remarks can make someone feel uncomfortable and unsafe at work. This type of bullying can create a culture of fear and negativity, impacting one’s well-being.

8. Invading someone’s privacy

Intrusive questions, monitoring someone’s personal belongings, or constantly invading their physical workspace are all violations of privacy. This can create a sense of unease and make it difficult for them to focus on their work.

9. Constant micromanagement

Constant hovering, excessive revisions, and a lack of trust in someone’s abilities can be incredibly stifling and demotivating. This micromanagement can make you feel like you’re constantly being watched and judged, hindering creativity and initiative.

10. Constant criticism

Constant unconstructive criticism, nitpicking, or focusing solely on one’s flaws can chip away at their confidence and make them question their competence. This relentless negativity can lead to self-doubt and anxiety, impacting their overall performance.

11. Devaluing someone’s opinions

Devaluing someone’s opinions, ideas, or contributions in meetings or conversations can make them feel silenced and unimportant. This dismissal can be particularly discouraging if they’re passionate about their work and have valuable insights to share.

12. Purposefully ignoring someone

Purposefully ignoring someone, refusing to acknowledge their presence, or acting like they’re invisible is a form of emotional abuse. This deliberate social exclusion can be incredibly isolating and can make them feel like they don’t belong.

13. Purposeful and constant irritability towards someone

Constant irritability, anger directed at someone specifically, or creating a tense atmosphere can be a way to intimidate and control their behavior. This negativity can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and afraid to make mistakes.

14. Indirect threats

Subtle threats about job security, career advancement, or workload can create anxiety and fear, keeping you feeling on edge. These veiled threats can be used to manipulate someone into working long hours or taking on extra duties beyond their job description.

15. Gaslighting

Twisting reality, denying conversations happened, or making someone question their memory and perception are manipulative tactics used to confuse and control someone. This gaslighting can create a sense of self-doubt and make it difficult to trust your own judgment.

16. Making someone feel guilty

Using emotional manipulation to make someone feel responsible for others’ work or manipulating them into taking on additional tasks can lead to resentment and burnout. These guilt trips can be particularly effective if you’re a people pleaser or have a strong sense of responsibility.

17. Stealing someone’s credit

Not taking credit for your ideas, work, or achievements can be incredibly frustrating and leave you feeling undervalued. Credit theft can diminish your accomplishments and hinder your career progression.

18. Blaming someone for no reason

Being unfairly blamed for mistakes or errors you didn’t commit can damage one’s reputation and create unnecessary stress. This scapegoating can make someone feel defensive and discourage them from taking risks or trying new things.

How to stop workplace bullying and intimidation: Strategies for employees and managers

Workplace bullying can be incredibly draining. Here are some actionable steps you can take, whether you’re an employee experiencing intimidation or a manager who wants to foster a healthy work environment:

How to stop workplace bullying as an employee

  • Document everything: Keep a record of incidents, including emails, meeting notes, or witness testimonies. This can be crucial evidence if you need to escalate the issue to HR.
  • Build your network: Cultivate relationships with supportive colleagues who can offer advice and advocate for you.
  • Set boundaries: Communicate your workload capacity and politely decline unreasonable requests. Don’t be afraid to say no.
  • Focus on your work: Prioritize your own tasks and deadlines. Don’t get sidetracked by negativity or attempts to distract you.
  • Seek support: Talk to a trusted colleague, an HR representative, or a therapist about what you’re experiencing.
  • Know your rights: Familiarize yourself with your company’s anti-bullying policy and relevant workplace laws.
  • Consider alternatives: If the situation is severe and impacting your well-being, consider exploring other job opportunities within the company or elsewhere.

How to stop workplace bullying as a manager

  • Lead by example: Create a culture of respect and inclusivity by treating everyone with fairness and dignity.
  • Promote open communication: Encourage open communication and be approachable if employees have concerns.
  • Implement anti-bullying policies: Develop and enforce clear anti-bullying policies that outline acceptable behavior and consequences for violations.
  • Empower your team: Provide adequate resources, training, and support to allow your team members to thrive.
  • Address issues promptly: Don’t dismiss reports of bullying. Investigate complaints thoroughly and take appropriate disciplinary action.
  • Promote work-life balance: Encourage healthy work practices and discourage working excessive hours, which can contribute to stress and conflict.
  • Be supportive: Advocate for employees who are being targeted and ensure they feel safe reporting incidents.

Creating a positive work environment is a shared responsibility. By working together, employees and managers can create a workplace where everyone feels valued, respected, and empowered to do their best work.

Conclusion

Subtle bullying is a constant drain, which slowly but steadily creates a toxic work environment where everyone -employees and managers- loses.

But that doesn’t have to be the norm.

By recognizing these forms and taking decisive action, companies can create a more positive work experience where everyone feels safe to contribute and thrive.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

 

What if I don’t have concrete evidence of the bullying, like emails or recordings?

Even without emails or recordings, you can still build a strong case. Keep a detailed journal where you record dates, times, witnesses (if any), and a brief description of the incident. This documentation can be helpful for establishing a pattern of behavior. Additionally, consider confidentially speaking with supportive colleagues who may be willing to corroborate your experiences.

I’m worried about retaliation if I report the bullying. Does my company have to keep my report confidential?

Most companies have anti-retaliation policies in place to protect employees who report bullying. However, it’s understandable to be concerned. If possible, submit your report through an anonymous channel offered by your HR department or a third-party service. You can also explore reporting the bullying to an external national agency.

What if the bully is my manager? Who can I report it to?

If your manager is the bully, escalate the issue to HR. Many HR departments have dedicated procedures for handling manager misconduct. You can also explore reporting the issue to a senior manager within the company or anonymously to an external agency.

I’m a manager, and I suspect bullying is happening in my team. What should I do?

Take immediate action. Address the situation directly with the employee experiencing the bullying and assure them of your support. Investigate the situation thoroughly and confidentially. Enforce your company’s anti-bullying policy and take appropriate disciplinary action if necessary. Additionally, use this as an opportunity to review and strengthen your company’s anti-bullying policies and provide training to employees on how to recognize and respond to bullying.

I’m afraid of losing my job if I speak up. Are there legal protections for victims of bullying?

Workplace bullying laws vary depending on your location. However, in many countries, general anti-discrimination laws may offer some protection. Focus on documenting the bullying behavior, especially if it falls under a protected category like race, gender, or disability. Consulting with an employment lawyer familiar with your local laws can be helpful in understanding your rights and potential legal options.

What if the bullying is happening remotely? Does it still count?

Absolutely. The rise of remote work hasn’t diminished the prevalence of bullying. In fact, some aspects of remote work, like limited face-to-face interaction, can make it easier for subtle bullying tactics to fly under the radar. If you’re being bullied remotely, document the incidents (emails, texts, video calls) and utilize any reporting channels your company offers for remote employees.

I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is bullying or just a difficult coworker. How can I tell the difference?

While occasional conflict is normal in any workplace, bullying is a repeated pattern of unreasonable behavior that creates a hostile work environment. Consider the frequency and severity of the behavior. Does it make it difficult for you to do your job or cause you emotional distress? If so, it could be bullying. Trust your gut instinct, and if something feels wrong, it probably is.

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