Do you struggle to sit down and do the hard work you know you should be doing to advance in your career?

Do you scroll on social media mindlessly and then regret it?

Do you want to read more books, but when you have some free time, you binge-watch Netflix instead?

Do you fear that if you sit with your thoughts, you will start worrying about the future or thinking about your past mistakes?

You are not alone. In fact, this is the norm when it comes to human behavior.

Inspired by Chris Bailey’s book, “Hyperfocus”, I will explore why we are naturally drawn to novel, pleasurable, and threatening experiences and how we can develop the courage to break free and do the hard work that will help us grow.

Why are we stimulated by novelty, pleasure, and threat?

 

As Bailey underlines in “Hyperfocus”, our brains are wired for survival and reproduction. That’s why they have evolved to prioritize certain stimuli in our environment.

These stimuli usually fall into at least one of the following categories:

1. Novelty

2. Pleasure

3. Threat

Novelty

Our natural curiosity and desire for exploration drive us to seek new experiences and information.

This behavior has been crucial for our survival and development, as discovering valuable resources or knowledge can give us a competitive advantage in our environment.

Novel activities can, of course, be both good and bad.

For example, starting a new hobby, traveling to new places, or learning a new language, are enjoyable and stimulating activities that can help us grow.

However, engaging in risky or illegal activities, gambling, binge-watching addictive content, or consuming excessive amounts of junk food are undoubtedly harmful.

So the question regarding novel activities is: How can you distinguish between good and bad?

Not as easy as we think, especially when the element of pleasure is present.

Pleasure

Pleasurable experiences provide rewards that motivate us to repeat behaviors that meet our basic needs and generate positive emotions.

However, balancing the pleasure you get daily is one of the biggest challenges of our distraction-filled world.

You see, our first ancestors were overeating to store fat for when food became scarce, and they had sex to be able to reproduce. We are drawn to those behaviors.

So now imagine how much more difficult it is to resist pleasure in a culture that has been literally built around it.

Eating, relaxing, using social media, or having sex is not bad; overeating, procrastinating, excessive screen time, or promiscuity is.

The lack of balance in our instant gratification society is the real struggle.

Threat

Our brain’s threat detection system has evolved as a survival mechanism, allowing us to recognize and respond to potential danger.

This system has helped our species stay vigilant and protect ourselves from harm, which is essential for our well-being and survival.

However, our state of being constantly alert for potential threats can sabotage us nowadays.

The challenge today is not whether snakes are lurking around or how intense the winter will be. Our sense of threat comes from an offensive comment at the office or how we will complete our numerous daily tasks without fail.

Our natural tendency to feel threatened makes everything seem urgent, activating our “fight or flight” response.

Have you tried mind-wandering?

 

As I mentioned, our minds are usually drawn to novel, pleasurable, and threatening thoughts, and we find it challenging to sit down and purposefully mind-wander or enter what Chris Bailey calls “scatterfocus” mode.

Electric shock instead of mind-wandering

In a study conducted in 2014, participants were administered a mini electric shock through two shock electrodes attached to their ankles.

Then, they were asked whether they would pay not to receive the shock again, and around 75% of the participants said they would.

In the second stage of the experiment, things got even more interesting.

At that stage, the participants who had stated that they would pay not to receive the shock again were left with their thoughts for 15 minutes and the electrodes on, in case someone wanted to shock himself.

Guess what. Around 70% of men and 25% of women who had previously said they would pay not to receive the shock again shocked themselves at least once during this 15-minute period.

That’s the level of our aversion to mind-wandering.

Why we don’t like mind-wandering

This aversion to mind-wandering has very specific reasons, and it’s interconnected with the stimuli we mentioned earlier.

As Bailey also says in his book, when our minds wander, we usually think about our mistakes, what we could have done or said differently, and our worries about the present and the future.

However, sometimes we think about pleasant thoughts too. We recall pleasant memories and daydream about an ideal future and how we would feel in that case.

As you see, our minds are again drawn to novel ideas, pleasant thoughts, or threatening conditions.

The problem is that we feel seriously uncomfortable sitting down with our thoughts as we continually seek a new distraction to keep our minds busy.

Distractions rule our modern version of our species, and we must be purposeful to change that.

Developing the courage to do the hard thing

 

Sometimes, personal growth and success require us to resist the pull of novelty, pleasure, and threat.

To do this, we need courage, mental strength, and determination to face challenges, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult.

Here are 8 strategies for cultivating the courage to do the hard thing:

1. Set aside time for reflection and meditation

Schedule intentional breaks throughout the day to engage in activities promoting relaxation and introspection, such as walking, meditating, or journaling.

These activities can help you create a mental space for your thoughts to wander and connect the dots between seemingly unrelated ideas.

Meditation, in particular, can be beneficial to get a first-hand experience of what your mind is drawn toward. You will realize that it’s usually novel, pleasurable, or threatening thoughts that typically arise. By meditating, you will start training your mind to focus on what you want.

2. Guide your mind to productive thoughts

When you allow your mind to wander, try to reflect on past experiences and the lessons you’ve learned from them. Additionally, envision your future goals and consider potential outcomes.

By guiding your thoughts in productive directions, you don’t let mind-wandering frighten you, but you turn it into a powerful tool for personal growth and problem-solving.

3. Find the right balance between focus and mind wandering

It’s essential to find a balance between focused work and mind-wandering. Practice mindfulness techniques to stay grounded in the present moment and avoid becoming overwhelmed by distractions.

This way, you can exploit the benefits of focused attention and purposeful mind-wandering.

4. Acknowledge your fears and anxieties

Recognize and accept the feelings that arise when facing challenges.

It’s okay to be anxious over specific conditions. Our fears are very personal, but we all have them, even if we try to avoid them.

Understanding your emotions can help you respond to them more effectively instead of avoiding or suppressing them.

5. Set clear goals

Setting specific objectives and breaking them down into smaller tasks allows you to create a roadmap for success and maintain momentum even when obstacles arise.

When you follow a specific plan, your mind will be driven less often by novelty, pleasure, and threat. Instead, you will feel more in control and be deliberate throughout your day.

6. Practice self-compassion and forgive yourself

Treat yourself kindly, and remember that everyone makes mistakes and has weaknesses.

You shouldn’t focus on being right all the time or beating yourself up because of something that happened in the past.

Instead, use your past experiences as learning opportunities rather than dwelling on them.

7. Surround yourself with supportive people

It’s not a cliché that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”.

If certain people around you are critical and negative, ditch them, or spend less time with them in case they are family members.

A strong support network can encourage and motivate you to face challenges and pursue your life goals.

8. Develop a growth mindset and view challenges as opportunities

Adopting a philosophy that embraces difficulties as learning experiences can help you build resilience and see setbacks as growth opportunities rather than failures.

Once you adopt this mindset, you will understand that failure is a part of the game, not the end result. Without it, you can’t improve or grow.

Conclusion

The allure of novelty, pleasure, and threat can be powerful. From the beginning of time, our species have been naturally driven by them.

And the truth is that, in our modern world of distraction and instant gratification, breaking free from our impulse behaviors becomes much more difficult.

But by adopting the right mindset, we can start developing the courage that can help us be more purposeful and do the hard but necessary things for our growth.

The ones that require more than just living on autopilot mode.

This way, we can overcome obstacles, unlock our creative potential, and ultimately live the life we have always dreamed of but never actualized.